A beautiful night…..

Anuj’s View

I didn’t know what I was doing. Sita’s beauty had blinded me. She looked awesome even in that dim light and when she started singing I was totally mesmerized. And yes I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her. The moment was a magical one. The first instance of our physical proximity. I had never touched a girl before but that didn’t mean I was bad at it. She was a bit hesitant initially but after a few seconds she kissed me back. There we were two friends gone astray into a completely different path. When the magic was over I snapped back into reality. What the hell was I doing? This is not correct. We are friends not lovers. Yeah we do feel for each other but none of us knew what this feeling was. I pulled myself back and looked at her. Oh God!!!!!!! Sitoo…….the innocent face, the big black eyes, the long flowing hair, those sweet lips …and I couldn’t stop myself. I kissed her again and this time never to let go. I wanted her. Not just for tonight but for every other night of my life till I am alive. I moved the strands of hair that fell on her face and kept on staring at her face. She looked at me with so much love. It was there in her eyes. I could see it. “Baby ur all that I want when you’re lying here in my arms”----Bryan Adams Heaven Unplugged was all I could think of when I embraced her in my arms. I was living this moment. This moment meant everything to me till she said it.

Sita’s Love

“I LOVE U Anuj”. Yes I said it. I said it finally after contemplating with myself for months. Yes I loved him. I loved him for his stupidity, his understanding, his power to make me happy, his smile, his calm n composed nature and his dimpled chin. I loved them all. He was a bit shocked to hear it and I thought “wasn’t it obvious dude?”. “don’t talk of all this Sita”,he said. “What!!!!!!! I love u Anuj and why are you reacting after hearing this? I didn’t ask you to say it to me. I am just telling you what I feel for you. What is so wrong in that?” Did I over react?????? No I did not. I had all the rights to say whatever I felt. Who was he to refrain me from doing so? “I mean……ummm…..I knew that you felt for me but it was just that I wasn’t expecting that you would say it”. “Anuj…..i guess I know you enough to fall in love with you. You know I speak what I feel…. I feel love for you and it’s perfectly fine if you don’t feel the same way for me. I can’t force you to love me.” “Of course I feel for you…it’s just that I am not sure if it’s love.” “fine … I’ll wait for the day when you’ll feel it. I guess we should sleep now. It’s kinda late. Good night.” I felt hurt. This guy just kissed me and at the same time he says that he doesn’t love me. I did not know what to say or how to react. I just lay back on the bed with the blanket pulled over my face pretending to sleep. Anuj went to bed as well. I cried all night and don’t remember when I slept. I woke up when Anuj called me in the morning for coffee. It was 8 am and I had to reach home and then go to office at 10. We drank coffee and he dropped me back home. We did not speak to each other specific throughout the morning. Just normal office stuff. I was still mad at him for what he had said last night and no matter what I did I just couldn’t believe that he did not love me. Then why did he kiss me? Was Anuj same as those guys who thought of girls just as an object to satisfy their physical needs? Was I just another girl for him? Was he in love with some other girl he had not told me about? Or was he gay? A million questions popped up in my mind and I struggled to get rid of them. I couldn’t concentrate on work. All day I thought of last night. Sometimes I smiled and then suddenly I became sad. I had to divert my mind somehow. I needed to think of something else other than Anuj. I decided to go home. I needed this break.